The certainty of my doubt

by gaytaylor

OK, one word more. I stumbled onto Jas’ post on Fathfully Doubting and when I finished it, I shouted “Brother!” Here’s a kindred spirit who, though not in the same exact place I am, nonetheless voices many of my thoughts and feelings, and does so with aplomb. Well worth reading, pondering.

faithfullydoubting

In recent years, I have been on a journey of embracing doubt. I want to say something more subtle like ‘exploring doubt’ or ‘letting doubt in’, but the truth is I’ve actively pursued it.

The biggest questions have centred around my faith. I have given myself permission to interrogate the most significant relationship in my life, reasoning that if God does exist as I presume he does and if he is as vast and great as I think he is and if his nature is as loving and patient as I sense it is, then he isn’t going to be intimidated, scared or angered by me questioning his relevance in my life.

This has had direct implications on who I am in the world. Because the way I view myself (and the way I perceive others view me) has been so grounded by everything to do with this God fellow, my…

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